It finally hit me last night that I only have a few days left here. For the past few weeks I’ve been telling myself that I’m ready to be back in comfortable old Mystic with my friends, my family and (most importantly) my dog, but now that it’s so close to the end I’m feeling pretty depressed. It’s hard to be in a situation where you know that a lot of the people who have become some of your closest friends—your family, really—are only a week away from walking out of your life.
Some live close to me, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, New York; others live further away, Minnesota, Ohio and Colorado. Some live on a different continent altogether, and some I think live on a different planet. The one thing they all have in common? They have all changed me. I have taken a piece of each of them and made it my own.
I have learned to be more open, more caring, more independent, more sensitive, more of a man? I don’t know about that last one, but I definitely know much more about myself today than I did on January 5–the day I arrived here–and these people are a huge part of that.
I guess this experience should help prepare me to leave Bonas after graduation next year, but this seems different. Not only am I losing these people, I’m losing Perugia. I’m losing the place that has inexplicably become home in a little less than four months. I’m losing sunny days on the steps of the duomo, late nights at the secret bakeries, and early mornings wake up calls from the construction workers jack-hammering and sawing outside my window.
I would like to think that someday I’ll return to Italy to relive some of my finest days in the land of pizza and wine, but nothing’s guaranteed. I know that even if I do come back it will never be the same; a few weeks of nomadic travelling through a country simply cannot compare with calling it “home” for four months.
It’s different because we’ve seen Italy warts and all, and we still love it. We have loved Italia on the sunniest days just as we have on the snowiest days an Italian could remember. We have loved it on happy days and sad days; at our highest points and our lowest. And, to paraphrase a friend, we’d like to think that Italy loved us back.
It’s funny to think about how the weather has mirrored my emotions throughout the semester. In January the weather was gorgeous. It was cold, but not New England cold. The sun was out every day and it seemed warm enough to get by without wearing a winter coat. These first few weeks of nice weather came at a time when everyone was happy just to be here and excited about all of the new experiences that awaited us. The honeymoon period ended when February began. Homesickness started to creep into my life just as the snow started to pummel the cobblestone streets of Perugia. The ridiculous amount of snow made it hard to walk anywhere (you know those old people who say that they used to have to walk a mile in the snow to get to and from school, uphill both ways…yeah it turns out that’s not too far from the truth here in Perugia.) Work was piling up as fast as the snow and I was none too pleased about either. Spring break was really the turning point.
You see, it was during spring break that I realized that Perugia was home and I was shocked at how much I missed it after only a week away. We got back from spring break and the weather Gods shined upon us. It was so nice for three weeks that I almost forgot that we weren’t yet in summer. Departure was a distant thought and we were just enjoying each other and living in the moment. We left for Easter break wearing shorts and came back wearing winter jackets and rain gear. The weather shifted one last time and since then the sunny days have been few and far between. The rain has made this period of mourning all the more depressing, but I’m still holding out hope for just one last sunny day. One last day to sit on the steps and enjoy a gelato or a cold beer, one last day to leave my apartment wearing shorts and a tee shirt…one last day of paradise.
I know that nothing can take this semester away from me, but it’s hard to accept that in less than a week I’ll be speaking of it strictly in the past tense. I’m not ready for that and I’m not ready to lose the people and places that have become so important to me, but such is life.
It’s a comedy at times and a tragedy at others. What’s really important is that we keep learning and growing through it all. The great moments inspire us and give us confidence and—just as importantly—the not-so-great keep us grounded, but both provide us important lessons to draw from as life moves forward.
I certainly know that I have learned and grown immensely during my time in Italy. This semester has been amazing, hilarious, breath-taking, embarrassing, happy, sad and every emotion in between and I wouldn’t trade even a minute of it for anything in the world…
Love and thanks for reading about my adventures throughout the semester, and I hope to speak to you on the other side,
AT